Tags
childhood, children, creativity of children, motherhood, needs of mothers, single motherhood, small meditation, the Police, toddlers
Silence & Song: Motherhood
After the third breakfast of the morning, two broken dishes thrown away, one spilled and mopped bowl of freshly full dog water; after the new doll’s head has been replaced upon slender shoulders and the plush Easter bunny (ears gold, neck ringed with pink silk, already stained) has been rescued for the fifth time from terrier teeth; after the headband “with the bow” and the tulle skirted dress have been located along with the underwear that says “Tuesday” because it is “Tuesday, not, Mama, Wednesday, God,” and musical requests fulfilled (“no, not Afro-pop. The Police. I want the Police,” not yet knowing the tragedy of whatever Sting later became) – after the small child with the impossibly beautiful face and absurdly wily demands settles into her small throne of play and pop songs and small books hiding huge ideas,
I make my way in a secret silence (I can hear it beneath the Copeland percussion) to water. My head has not known water in three, or is it four? days. The heated rivulets are a Paradise. My body uncoils like the finger-leaves of a thirsting fern. My skin turns a happy pink from sugar scrubs and coral colored cleansers. Oh. How I miss their smells.
The child is quiet and happy.
I am quiet and happy.
“Mama. I think I broke only one egg.”
Oh this warms my heart to see your beautiful daughter as I’m about to give birth to my third any night now. Of all your deeply felt writings, the poetry, the past, the politics, Paris, the pain… I have a tender place for your parenthood reflections. I hope to be as present as you one day, seeing them grow…
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I have been meaning to email you, not sure if it’s OK! But for now: oh your third!!! You have to tell me the ages of your others, I had no idea you were not only a visionary poet/spiritual seer, but also a mama. Very humbling. May your third child be born in great health and joy to you both. xoxorachel
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Yes, email me if you like! I just gave birth to my third daughter on 4/13 and the others are almost two and will be four in July. Thank you for your blessings, it was a very fast homebirth (story is up as of today on my blog, if you’re interested) and I’m still trying to process it, but we are both healthy:) Be well, my friend.
xx -Amaya
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